I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
