We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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