We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
