i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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