We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
