is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize