watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
