what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
please come you make the beer taste better
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
