If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's blow job season.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
