You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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