Banned from zoo.
Again?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
