That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
