I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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