So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
