...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
