My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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