hotel room ftw
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize