Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
