Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
