You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Randomize
