So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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