Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
