I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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