So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
