Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
