better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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