I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
