I want to stick my p in your. b.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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