I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm at about main and main street
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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