Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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