My sheets look like a crime scene.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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