dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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