There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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