Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You took a bar mat shot.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
