Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
