I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize