oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
