Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
