I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
