I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
