A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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