I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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