i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
