Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
