I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
