whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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