we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
