just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
