No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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