Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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