Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
All I want is dick and wine.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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