I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
