im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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