You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
