dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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