TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
