i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
