Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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