It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
