That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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