Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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