Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
