so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
