Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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