He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize