I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
