You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
where am i from again
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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