Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
