We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
