weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
