Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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